After reading most all of Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage by H. Goddard and Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottman it's been really interesting to put them together. I feel like in a way both of these very talented researchers said the same things. What I got from reading both of these books is that we need to learn how to see our spouse the way that God sees them. To put that in more of the world's words, we need to be able to shine a better light on our companions. We need to see the good in them rather than seeking out the bad.
Goddard taught us specifically about charity in the last chapters of his book. He taught us that charity is going beyond the pure love of Christ, although that is important. It's becoming like Christ. Charity in a marriage can do wonders. When one shows charity to their spouse it becomes difficult for either person to harbor ill will against the other. Instead there is a change of heart on the giver and the receiver. Dr Goddard said, "We can test the power of charity by reflecting on those who have shown us charity. It softens us. It causes us to relax. It brings out the best in us."
I know I've experienced this in my life and in my marriage. There was one evening in particular that comes to mind. I was so busy with homework. This day was one of the most busy and stressful days I've had in a while. My husband could see that I was trying to hold myself together, but that I was struggling. Without me asking him he started dinner when we got home. He told me in a loving way to go sit down and do my homework and that he had things under control. He made dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, and helped me to know that everything was ok. I can't remember for sure, but I think he even helped me with my homework (math...). He looked at me with so much love in his eyes and I felt that very same way for him. I'm really grateful for those small acts of charity in our marriage. Neither of us are perfect, but we are trying and I feel like our marriage is being blessed because of it.
I encourage each of you that read this post to try and be more consistent
in seeking out the needs of your companion or someone else you love and then trying to meet those needs in a charitable way. I know that if you do this consistently with a cheerful heart you and your relationship will be blessed in ways you don't even know.
Goddard taught us specifically about charity in the last chapters of his book. He taught us that charity is going beyond the pure love of Christ, although that is important. It's becoming like Christ. Charity in a marriage can do wonders. When one shows charity to their spouse it becomes difficult for either person to harbor ill will against the other. Instead there is a change of heart on the giver and the receiver. Dr Goddard said, "We can test the power of charity by reflecting on those who have shown us charity. It softens us. It causes us to relax. It brings out the best in us."
I encourage each of you that read this post to try and be more consistent
in seeking out the needs of your companion or someone else you love and then trying to meet those needs in a charitable way. I know that if you do this consistently with a cheerful heart you and your relationship will be blessed in ways you don't even know.
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