This week in class we read a talk by Elder Bruce C. Hafen titled Covenant Marriage. In this talk Elder Hafen explained the difference between a covenant marriage and contract marriage. A contract marriage is one where each spouse contributes 50% to the marriage to make an even 100%. in a covenant marriage however, each spouse contributes 100% to their marriage. When I thought of marriage when I was younger I thought the best thing both partners could do for each other was be the "other half." Which in my head meant that each partner contributed 50% to the marriage. I can see the logic behind this, but now that I'm married I can also see how hard that could be on a marriage. If I still thought of marriage as 50-50 then, when I felt my husband wasn't doing all he could, I would feel justified to give less as well. For example, if he wasn't going to do the dishes then I wasn't going to either (my husband is great at doing the dishes by the way). Silly things like that could diminish a 50-50 marriage.
My eyes were opened to a new way of looking at things a few years ago and I was reminded once again of this as I read Elder Hafen's talk this week. This idea of a covenant marriage means that I give 100% of myself to my marriage and to my husband and he does the same for me. There are so many blessings that come from living this way. I know that when times get hard my husband and I are going to work just as hard to fix our problems rather than walk away from them. I know that my husband can help me when I may be weak and I will do the same for him. I also know that our 100% may look different from day to day, but I know that it we try our best every day it will be enough. I also know that our children will be blessed because they will be able to see that mom and dad love each other all the time, not just when life is perfect. I also know that with our covenant marriage we will be able to live together forever with God. That's the best blessing of all.
Now, I know I still have a lot to learn. I love my husband so, so dearly. Even though I love him I still get selfish and I get prideful and I do, feel, and say things that are less than what my Savior expects of me and less than what my husband deserves. I've learned that, even though it's hard to see outside of myself sometimes, I'm the happiest, and my marriage is the best when I'm not focused on myself. Funny, I feel like I've heard that before. Oh right, "Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it" (Matthew 16 :25).
I'm coming to know the power of that beautiful scripture. I know it's true and I know that, just as most things in life take time and practice to achieve, covenant marriage is possible through a little practice and patience.
My eyes were opened to a new way of looking at things a few years ago and I was reminded once again of this as I read Elder Hafen's talk this week. This idea of a covenant marriage means that I give 100% of myself to my marriage and to my husband and he does the same for me. There are so many blessings that come from living this way. I know that when times get hard my husband and I are going to work just as hard to fix our problems rather than walk away from them. I know that my husband can help me when I may be weak and I will do the same for him. I also know that our 100% may look different from day to day, but I know that it we try our best every day it will be enough. I also know that our children will be blessed because they will be able to see that mom and dad love each other all the time, not just when life is perfect. I also know that with our covenant marriage we will be able to live together forever with God. That's the best blessing of all.Now, I know I still have a lot to learn. I love my husband so, so dearly. Even though I love him I still get selfish and I get prideful and I do, feel, and say things that are less than what my Savior expects of me and less than what my husband deserves. I've learned that, even though it's hard to see outside of myself sometimes, I'm the happiest, and my marriage is the best when I'm not focused on myself. Funny, I feel like I've heard that before. Oh right, "Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it" (Matthew 16 :25).
I'm coming to know the power of that beautiful scripture. I know it's true and I know that, just as most things in life take time and practice to achieve, covenant marriage is possible through a little practice and patience.
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