I'm taking a Marriage class (Faml 300) at BYU-Idaho. This week we talked about divorce and pretty much how to avoid it unless it's absolutely necessary. I know we've all heard the statistic saying how 40-50% or marriage are now ending in divorce (The State of Our Union:Marriage in America 2012). That's not very comforting. That statistic actually scared me a lot before I got married, but I've learned some things this week and through out other classes that have really helped comfort be. One thing that The State of Our Union made sure to mention was that there are things we can do to lower our odds greatly. I'm only going to talk about a few, but if you'd like to see the full list go to The State of Our Union: Marriage in America 2012 pg. 88.
The first point, and the one I feel like is the most important, is your religious affiliation. I honestly feel like if you and your spouse are fully committed to the Lord and trying to grow your faith your marriage is going to be on good footing. I've definitely seen that in my marriage. I met my husband at a church school. We both went on mission trips. We attend church every week and we make an honest effort to stay close to Christ in our daily lives. I feel that because we try so hard to stay close to Him that naturally brings us closer together.
Another blessing to marriage is going to college. When I first heard that I was a little confused. I didn't really see how they connected until I learned about that money struggles were one of the leading causes for divorce. There are a lot of benefits to going to college, but we are all aware of the fact that obtaining more education = more money down the road. You also get to practice problem solving which is really helpful for marriage. You also practice being disciplined and working hard to obtain a goal. All of these things are so helpful in a marriage. I'm really grateful for the chance that my husband and I have to go to college and we are committed to finishing which is going to be exciting.
There are a lot of other things on that list I was talking about but now I'd like to switch gears. I know that there are some very real provocations for divorce. Elder James E. Faust put it so beautifully when he said, "‘Just cause’ should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human being." This is a powerful statement. This implies that there has been some work put into the relationship. It also implies that there is a partner who tries and a partner who has abandoned the relationship even before a divorce is mentioned. It also implies that there is some very real hurt involved. These kinds of situations are those of which a divorce is justified and necessary. Elder Dallin H. Oaks talked about how personal differences, falling out of love, or differing agendas should not be grounds for divorce.
Ultimately it's between you and the Lord. He will help heal what ever trial you go through whether that's healing a marriage or healing a broken heart after divorce.
The first point, and the one I feel like is the most important, is your religious affiliation. I honestly feel like if you and your spouse are fully committed to the Lord and trying to grow your faith your marriage is going to be on good footing. I've definitely seen that in my marriage. I met my husband at a church school. We both went on mission trips. We attend church every week and we make an honest effort to stay close to Christ in our daily lives. I feel that because we try so hard to stay close to Him that naturally brings us closer together.Another blessing to marriage is going to college. When I first heard that I was a little confused. I didn't really see how they connected until I learned about that money struggles were one of the leading causes for divorce. There are a lot of benefits to going to college, but we are all aware of the fact that obtaining more education = more money down the road. You also get to practice problem solving which is really helpful for marriage. You also practice being disciplined and working hard to obtain a goal. All of these things are so helpful in a marriage. I'm really grateful for the chance that my husband and I have to go to college and we are committed to finishing which is going to be exciting.
There are a lot of other things on that list I was talking about but now I'd like to switch gears. I know that there are some very real provocations for divorce. Elder James E. Faust put it so beautifully when he said, "‘Just cause’ should be nothing less serious than a prolonged and apparently irredeemable relationship which is destructive of a person’s dignity as a human being." This is a powerful statement. This implies that there has been some work put into the relationship. It also implies that there is a partner who tries and a partner who has abandoned the relationship even before a divorce is mentioned. It also implies that there is some very real hurt involved. These kinds of situations are those of which a divorce is justified and necessary. Elder Dallin H. Oaks talked about how personal differences, falling out of love, or differing agendas should not be grounds for divorce.
Ultimately it's between you and the Lord. He will help heal what ever trial you go through whether that's healing a marriage or healing a broken heart after divorce.
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